Wednesday, December 7, 2011

11. “Toyz”

Missy Elliott: This Is Not A Test! (Elektra, 2003);
composed by Missy Elliott, Tim Mosley, and Craig Brockman


This album was Miss E.’s commercial hiccup although that certainly has nothing to do with why I like it so much (does it?), but the humor might have something to do with both. Even the hit “Pass That Dutch,” cracks me up – not least the sonic booby-traps in Timbaland’s production. Elliott claims she made the album too fast under record company pressure and I sympathize, but such circumstances occasionally produce off-the-wall classics like – say – “The Bitch Is Back.” Elliott’s classic development in this vein is this irresistible ode to vibrators. The joke is obvious; the delivery is stone cold deadpan; and all the electric buzzes, the moans, and the shrieks are all hilariously on pitch and just enough behind the beat to give the track an equally hilarious post-orgasmic spaciness. More to the point, she sounds like she means this rebuke a bit more than she means the “where-did-we-go-wrong” of “Is This Our Last Time.” After chastising her man for his now unforgivable failure to attend to proper pleasuring technique she retires to the bathtub, advising Boyfriend not to slam the door on his way out cause “Ya fuck up my concen-tra-tion!”


Note: 25 secular essays (each one exactly 200 words long) about 25 songs, to appear one per day during Advent (or so) from Nov. 27 through Dec. 21.

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